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Posted By: TheCounselor™          In: Courtship & Relationship          389 Views         (Nov 27, 2017)

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Apart from having a mentor or a pastor that you both submit your relationship to, another thing you must know is that of finding out who your partner is accountable to – his mentor, his pastor, his best friend, or even his parents (either the father or the mother). The truth is: everyone has that special person in their life that they listen to. A person who does not have anybody they are answerable to, is a dangerous person on two legs. Now, I am not talking about God, because I have come across people who say they are only answerable to God.

We know that already: everybody (whether they are aware of it or not), is answerable to God. Born again Christians are answerable to God; sinners are answerable to God as well. But what I am talking about here is a human being, in the flesh and not a spirit. There should be that one person in your partner’s life that he or she listens to, reverence (not worship in this context) and respect so much that, they would accept anything they say to them hook, line and sinker. As matter of fact, this is the first thing you should find out about your partner the moment you have both agreed to begin your courting journey.

Now don’t be fooled about that saying that a relationship should not have a third party and because of that, you don’t have anyone you can report your spouse’s inconsistencies to. It is allowed in courtship; it is only in marriage that a third party isn’t allowed. What God has joined together, let not man put asunder. In courtship, you have not been joined together with each other and so, you both aren’t one yet. Some smart partners may want to hide under this umbrella to continue to misbehave in the relationship.

So, back to where we are coming from. This person must be known by you, and you must know him or her as well. You must immediately have their contacts saved where you can easily access it. As a matter of importance, don’t follow anyone that is not following anybody. Don’t let your partner fool you to the point of saying he or she only follows God and not man. This is a lie from the pit of hell. How do I know this? Let me show from the Holy Scriptures. Apostle Paul said told the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 11:1. It says:

“Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.”

Aren’t you wondering why Apostle Paul didn’t say to them to follow God? Because there is always a person to follow in this flesh. Elijah followed Elisha, Joshua followed Moses, Paul mentored Timothy and the twelve disciples followed Jesus. In fact, there was an account in the bible where a man reported the disciples’ inability to cast out a demon from his little child to Jesus, and Jesus rebuked them greatly. Let me show this portion in the bible. Matthew 17:14-21

14 And when they had come to the multitude, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying,

15 “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water.

16 So I brought him to your disciples, but they could not cure him.”

17 Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to me.”

18 And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour.

19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?”

20 So Jesus said to them, “because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

21 However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

What a long scripture isn’t it? But I am going to quickly point out to you some key things that Jesus did to His disciples on the account of this incident. And you must always remember this whenever you are relating with whoever your partner is accountable to, that whenever you go to them for help (depending on the gravity of the issue at hand), you should expect these actions. That is why they are a mentor in the first place.

The first Jesus did was to rebuke the disciples (verse 17). Most times, a rebuke is meant to implement certain changes in the lives of people that are being rebuked. It is not always to make the person(s) involved feel bad about themselves, No! It is usually to make people open their eyes to certain responsibilities that they ought to be carrying out. When you report your partner’s incontinence to the people he or she is answerable, what you are simply doing is helping them to become a better version of themselves, and not for your own glory or better still, to appear ‘saintly’ before those people.

Also apart from rebuking them, Jesus also showed them the how-to-do-things. He didn’t just rebuke them alone; He also taught them how they could do it by themselves. He did that by first showing them example of the how (verse 18), and then told them what to do to become better (verse 20-21). So, the crux of all I have been saying here is this, and it is simple. Number one, it is important that both partners have a mentor that their courting relationship is answerable to during this period, and number two, each of the partners must have someone in their respective lives that they are answerable to, and they must be known to either party.

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