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Posted By: TheCounselor™          In: Courtship & Relationship          2571 Views         (Sep 09, 2017)


Many courting couples still ask about the length and duration that a normal courtship should last. What should be the yardstick for measuring when a courtship should culminate into a proper marriage? Well, the answer to this is divergent and simple as well. From my own point of view, a courtship should lead into marriage when the two people involved are fully ready to bear each other’s inadequacies. Your spouse-to-be is not perfect, and no matter how hard he or she tries to hide those imperfections during courting, there are much more that will simply manifest when you both start to live together legally as husband and wife.

Many relationship experts believe that the period of courting should not be too long. I think I am going to agree with them as well on this. An unnecessary long courting period could open the two couples to some temptations. The devil has a way of exploring loopholes to achieve its wicked intentions. Some people due to long courting period have fallen into the sin of fornication. So, the bottom line is that courtship should be short. Many religious institutions nowadays believe three months is just enough (especially when the intending couples had been friends for a reasonable number of years before realizing they could take the friendship further), while some believes six months is okay (especially if the intending couples have never had any previous relationship with each other in the past).

There can never be a general consensus on this subject matter as an amorphous mass of men cannot agree on the same issue. Whether the courtship period is long or short, they both have their own advantages and disadvantages as well. A long-term courtship can be more difficult, because the couple, once having made up their mind to live together in marriage, may grow frustrated with the wait. And herein lays the danger, of endless waiting before tying the nuptial knot. And again, what usually makes some courtship unduly long is due to lack of financial capability to execute the wedding proper. I know many intending couples, who should ordinarily, have been married but due to financial constraints, they could not.

A quick courtship presents its own danger as well. Just because the intending couples have made up their minds early on that they want to get married does not mean that they should skip the courtship stage all together. The danger here is that their decision to marry might be based more on infatuations than on prayerful and careful decision. It is dangerous to rush into marriage based on infatuations. Once the whole emotion dissipates, then trouble will begin to brew in the marriage. Ladies most especially should be careful when it comes to this. A man might be infatuated towards you in the first place and because of what he wants to get from you, he can promise you heaven and earth.

A man can promise you marriage early in your relationship simply to be able to get you laid. Gullible ladies have fallen victim of this gimmick of men, and some ignorant ones are still falling victims. There are valuable lessons to be learned along the path for a courting couple (especially for ladies). A hasty courtship that does not allow proper time to discern (prayerfully and otherwise), the real intentions of your spouse-to-be, has the potential of leading into difficulties in marriage.

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