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The Art of Making A Home: The Perverse Knowledge About Marriage (Part 2)

Posted By: TheCounselor™          In: Marriage Secrets          618 Views         (Feb 19, 2018)

 The Art of Making A Home: The Perverse Knowledge About Marriage (Part 2)

Another perverse thought men possess in marriage is the fact that a woman is a subordinate: one that they should rule or be ruled over. So, rather than these kind of men providing leadership in the home, what they exhibit is the art of rulership. There are certain men who do not see their woman as a leader should see his followers; rather they see them as a ruler will. And you know how it is with rulers in an authoritarian reign; they only subject their followers to rules and dictate what they want. In a reign like that, there wouldn't be freedom to do anything not even freedom of speech.

Many of us don't have the best type of thoughts when we remember how military regimes look like. We most likely felt we were not animals and that we deserve more in life from a supposed leader. This is how it seems too in marriage. Many men barely lead their wives, what they do mostly is rule over them. What many of these men don’t understand is that it takes the right kind of leadership (not rulership) for the woman to build the home as documented in Proverbs 14:1. If all a woman knows is a home full of rules and regulations, not being able to express herself, any attempt to express herself and feel free brings about slaps on her face; then her responsibility of building such a home would be defeated.

God has not ordained a home to be like the type just painted above. For men – that have been longing to unleash their rulership skills, marriage is not a place to do that; particularly not with you wife, she is meant to be your partner, not your subject. Allow your woman express herself; let her be free to talk to you. Don't make yourself the Lion of the tribe of your home where anytime your wife or children hear you coming, probably via honking the horn of your car or your voice as you approach, they start finding their bearing and rearrange themselves, they put off the television and pretend to be asleep all because they don't want your shout.

See your wife as God has ordained you to see her. The bible made it clear that “Male and female created He them.” (Genesis 1:27). Your wife is not inferior simply because she is a woman or your wife, No! God created every one equally but He has put the leadership of the home in your care as the husband. Lead and let your family (your wife and children) follow. Also, lead them by example. Do not be like some leaders who only lead through their mouth, let your children see the kind of life their father lives and love to be like you. Let your wife as well be proud of the kind of man her husband is and be willing to follow your leading per time.

For some men, the perverse knowledge about marriage is the understanding of the wife being a slave in the home. This also has to do with the mindset of rulership in a man. When a man only sees his wife as his slave: although he might not open his mouth to say this, but his actions to his wife speak louder about this. When a man refuses to help the woman that he sees as being joined together with, in chores and leaves her to do everything, thereby seeing it as her job, then there is an issue somewhere.

It is a different ball game when the man probably doesn't have time to do some of these things, maybe as a result of his work but decides to make help available for her by providing her with help or equipment that could help make chores easier and faster, this is fine. But for men that just love to believe chores are just the jobs of a woman, this is a mindset which should be erased to have a sweet and a peaceful home, a home ordained by God. Your wife is not a slave, making her feel she is one would only impede her self-esteem, she wouldn't be confident of herself.

Many men wonder why their women are the way they are, with low self-esteem forgetting that they sowed the seed of slavery and timidity in them to begin with which later germinated into a harvest of low self-esteem and less confidence. Your wife and children becomes what you make of them. When all you do is complain about them and their attitude all day long and not walk in total love towards them, forgetting the scriptures that says love does not murmur or complain, love believes the best of people including your wife and children, then you can't get the best you desire out from them.

Let us quickly examine this among women as well, though some men too have this belief as well. A very key perverse knowledge about marriage amongst women is marriage being an escape route from poverty. Many women believe once they are married; their problems are solved; the man or woman will bring his or her generation out of poverty. No man or woman can get the best of a marriage like this one. If all you are after as a man or woman in a marital relationship is the money the man or woman has, then, you might not successfully build a proper home.

The reason is because money has wings, what happens when the money that drew your love and attention to that woman or man suddenly flies, what will you do? Money and earthly things should not be a basis to building a home, this foundation is shaky and it can never stand. It's not a strong foundation for a godly home. Think about these things.

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The Art of Making A Home: The Perverse Knowledge About Marriage (Part 2)
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